Monday, January 18, 2010

Lining Up Help

Your first few days after surgery, you're going to be completely dependent on others. Since you probably can't afford round-the-clock nursing staff, you'd better be really nice to your family and friends!

I have two adorable and needy children, and one wonderful husband. Luckily, my parents offered to fly across the country and help us for the first week post-surgery. My folks and my hubby took turns watching the kids or watching me. That was amazing, and it helped everyone keep their sanity. Let's just say that, at times, I was a teensy bit stressed.

Let me just tell you an anecdote from day 2. I was installed in my recliner, full of darvocet but none too comfortable. That was the day I felt panicky, probably from low blood sugar (but at the time I thought I was losing my marbles). My parents arrived for their 'shift', and I overheard my husband ask my folks if they would keep my two-year-old daughter at home with me while he took out my three-year-old son. My radar mommy-hearing was particularly acute that day. So I yelled for my husband to please take both kids. I needed peace and quiet more than anything else. He yelled back that he had agreed to watch three nephews at the same time, and he couldn't watch all five kids at once. Ultimately I pulled the surgery trump card, and he left with the kids. The house was quiet. I started to relax. My Mom came in and spoke softly to me until I drifted off to sleep, and I felt a whole lot better when I woke up.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids fiercely. It ate me up that I couldn't run around and play with them. But I had to have peace, quiet, and special attention to heal at the beginning. We mommies find it particularly difficult to accept help. Whatever you do, make sure you line up a whole bunch of assistance. In a few weeks, you'll be giving those baths and dishing up those Cheerios again.

I have a big shout out for my Mom and Dad--I can't begin to thank you for everything you did for us. Thank you to my favorite Aunt and my Cousin for coming over. And hubby, you are amazing. Thank you for being so supportive. Thank you for holding my hand at the doctor's, and for being there in every way. Finally, extra thanks and kisses to my babies. Thank you for helping Mommy, for giving lots of hugs, and for understanding that Mommy has an 'owie'.